On the Principle of Nothing
by tempus terere
Summary: A tale of broken legends, frozen in the cycle of existence. — Kaguya and her world, from start to finish


**Warning:** Spoilers for chapter 670.  
**Notes:** Many references to Japanese mythology, some of which have been altered for the purposes of coherency.  
**Notes 2:** The end is supposed to imply that Kaguya becomes the Shinigami. I don't care if that's going to be canon or not.

* * *

At the beginning there was chaos. Particles of matter flew and buzzed about in silence without sense or purpose. Thus, it went on for an infinite gust of time until the silence ebbed away and gave room to the crooning sound of particles moving together. The more particles clustered, the louder the sound became. When it erupted into a jarring screech, the top compounds of particles lit up and enveloped all other matter into one realm: the universe. In this confined space, the particles stirred ever more, changed and finally simply were.

First, the clouds and heaven emerged from this new state of existence, of life. Then followed the earth, yet an amorphous agglutination of mass. Still uncountable and inconsequential, time passed. The Kotoamatsukami, the first gods, appeared in heaven. Manifestations of energy and creation, they were the masters of everything divine. Unsatisfied with the earth's condition, they brought another pair of gods into being who had bodies just like the earth did. These two were called Izanagi and Izanami. With a jeweled spear given to them by the Kotoamatsukami, they formed the earth into something solid and presentable, shaping oceans and lands alike.

They were so fascinated with their own creation that they descended to populate it with more deities like themselves. Izanami gave birth to manifold gods that began to spread all over the world to inhabit it, but she soon died upon the delivery of the god of fire. Izanagi, furious with grief, killed his child and journeyed to the underworld to bring his wife back to the surface of the earth. What he found, however, was not the beautiful woman he had once been wedded to but rotting flesh, ravaged by decay. Izanagi fled from the underworld, shaken and scared. Woken up by his hasty flight, Izanami chased after her husband. She was indignant that he no longer wanted to be with her, that he was disgusted with her. After all, it had not been her fault she had become this way, it had not been her will to die. Unknowing of her distress, Izanagi burst through the entrance to the world of the living and sealed it shut so there was no longer a connection between earth and the underworld.

As he left his wife behind in death, Izanagi decided to purify himself in a river. In the process of the ceremony, he generated several new gods, the last of which were the Three Noble Children: the goddess of the sun, Amaterasu, and the gods of the moon, Tsukuyomi, and the sea, Susanoo. The three siblings fought frequently as siblings often do. Amaterasu thought her brothers immature and selfish. Tsukuyomi disliked his sister's bright outbursts and his brother's stormy nature. Susanoo did not care for anything but the thrill of being himself. So it came that sun and moon could no longer stand being in the same spot of the sky at the same time and Susanoo was exiled from heaven.

Susanoo was not all too bothered by his banishment. He roamed the lands of earth freely until he met the elderly king and queen of a province named Izumo. They asked him to slay the eight-tailed snake that had devoured nearly all of their daughters. Only one, Princess Kushinada, was still alive. She was a fair creature, body flowing like silk, with hair the color of the sea at sunset. Susanoo agreed to kill the snake for the hand of the princess in return. The king of Izumo accepted. Susanoo lured the snake into a trap, killed it and cut it into small pieces. In one of the tails, he found a sword he sent to heaven as a reconciliation gift and a display of his good deeds on earth. The gods above approved of his gift and invited Susanoo to return to heaven, but he refused and stayed with Princess Kushinada.

Meanwhile, Tsukuyomi had watched all of Susanoo's doings and grew jealous of his brother's expanding influence on earth. At the peak of his envy, he created a being from those crates on the surface of the moon that the humans called tsuki no usagi, the bunny of the moon, and dispatched it to earth in order to murder Susanoo's descendants.

The being had the form of a tall woman of otherworldly beauty. She was pale just like her father, the moon, and her head sprouted horns resembling the shape of a rabbit's ears. Hence, the people on earth soon started to be wary of her, called her "rabbit goddess" and "demon." She found this rather unimaginative but kept the names because she liked the fear and awe they emanated. It took more time than she had estimated to travel to Izumo where Susanoo's son was king now, and along the journey she came to enjoy the difference in power between her and the humans. When she arrived at the court of Izumo, word about her coming had already reached the king, Yashimajinumi. He welcomed her in private in the garden of his castle. Dusk was settling over the valleys of Izumo while the hills still glowed in the shine of Amaterasu's evening glory. The pale figure of Yashimajinumi's visitor seemed to gleam in the twilight.

"I heard they call you a demon," he told her in disbelief, boggling at the incandescence of her appearance.

"They do," she answered. Her voice reminded him of the shores in the north of his kingdom. "But it matters not what humans think they have to say about me for I am by far more powerful than any of you."

Yashimajinumi considered this. He knew this woman would kill him, and he did not mind if such a celestial creature should be his end, but he would not hand over his life for nothing. "What is your name?"

Tsukuyomi's daughter started. "Why do you want to know?" she countered.

"Names have power as you surely know," Yashimajinumi said. "Therefore, since you are indeed savagely powerful, you must have a powerful name as well."

She hesitated for the first time in her life, and did not care much for the feeling. "My father did not adorn me with a name when he carved me out of lunar rocks."

Yashimajinumi was not surprised to hear she was a child of the moon. Her appearance gave it away. "I am honored to meet the daughter of Tsukuyomi," he said and bowed. "But it saddens me that you are without identity."

She started anew. This human was insolent but smart. Indeed, she had no identity, no sense of her own being, because she was just a tool to enact her father's petty plot of malevolence. What would happen to her once she had completed her task was unclear. Would Tsukuyomi summon her back to the moon? Would he kill her? Would he turn her back into moonstone? None of these possibilities pleased her, but she was afraid to disobey. She began to wonder if what the human had said about the power of names was true.

"Are names truly as powerful as you claim?"

Yashimajinumi smiled. "They are," he confirmed. He was not lying. "I have learned from my mother that a name always holds a meaning, and that meaning in turn holds power and purpose. One is not human without either."

"I am not human at all," she said doubtfully.

"No, you are not," Yashimajinumi concurred evenly. "Consequently, we humans have a power that you do not possess."

"Would I become human if I had a name?"

Yashimajinumi shrugged, partly as a gesture, partly as a means to release some tension from his shoulders. "I do not pretend to own knowledge like that, but if I may present my personal opinion: I do not think you could ever be entirely human. Therewithal, most of the gods bear names, and it has not made them humans."

The reverence in his tone told her he was being honest and courteous with her. It awakened something deep in her chest where her body was breathing. She did not know how to respond.

"Do you wish for a name?" Yashimajinumi enquired.

She did not know how to respond to this either because the answer frightened her. Yes, she wanted a name, she wanted this mundane, human thing for it was simple and real in places she would never be.

"How do I receive a name?" she asked at last.

Yashimajinumi did not say anything for a moment. "Why do you not give it to yourself? You have been at the mercy of others all this time, so it would only be just if you could finally seize autonomy without anybody else."

She had not expected a reply such as this. This human, this man, respected her although he must be aware for what reason she had come here. It made no sense, but such imperfection was probably inherent to all humans. Nonetheless, she chose to do as he had proposed. Thus she pondered on a name, strung syllables together only to discard them again until she had found a combination that resonated within her mind like none else had.

"Kaguya," she said. "My name shall be Kaguya."

Yashimajinumi looked at her in admiration, his skin a warm shimmer despite the dusk befalling his face. "A beautiful name," he said, and Kaguya found she must have become somewhat human because the feeling tingling at the tips of her fingers and toes was wholly terrestrial and not at all that of a goddess.

"Would you like to stay here for a while?" he asked, and he sounded eager if not very hopeful. Kaguya did not either but for different reasons.

"I would," she said. Yashimajinumi's eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed.

And so Kaguya stayed with Yashimajinumi for three years. She observed and studied him, his wise reign, his curious smiles, the human warmth of his pulse. As the third year drew to an end, Kaguya dreamed of her father.

She was floating in space without control of her body or her destination. From somewhere within her, the voice of her father spoke to her.

"You have not heeded my orders. Are you really so foolish to believe you could be free from me?"

Kaguya struggled against her invisible shackles. "I am," she said, determined. "I will be free. I will find strength. You are not able to unmake me. If you were, you would have already done so."

"You impertinent child! How dare you defy me?"

Kaguya pushed and pulled at her restraints, and finally they broke.

"Try to kill me," she challenged as she disengaged herself from the dream. "I will be more powerful than any god when you reach me."

"Careful," said Tsukuyomi coldly. "You are part human now. You may believe it makes you more powerful, but in truth it is your demise. I do not have to kill you. You will do that yourself, in time, and I shall watch in delight."

Kaguya woke up. Her body, calm and sleep-soft, showed no sign of what she had just gone through. It was still night, but milky light wound its way into the room through the translucent paper of the shoji doors. She knew what she had to do.

Yashimajinumi had told her stories about the Tree of Life in the lands south to Izumo. It was rumored to have spawned a fruit which was supposed to ooze pure, forceful energy. With this fruit her strength would be unfathomable. At last, she would be safe.

That very night Kaguya made for the sacred tree. She left no message for Yashimajinumi. She felt no need to; he would know she would return to him. She was certain.

Half a year had passed when she came to the tree. It was tall and broad, much more so than nature would warrant. Kaguya felt her breath hitch at its presence, at the power it exuded, but she willed herself to ignore the tree's might. Any distraction could result in her failure and, consequently, in death.

She climbed the trunk and grabbed the large, peach-shaped fruit hanging from the tree's crown. A bolt of undistilled energy surged through her.

"This fruit encloses the chakra of the world. You have no right to take it, daughter of the moon." The tree was talking, rustling its leaves until the rushing turned into words.

Kaguya gnashed her teeth — not in anger but in the effort to continue holding onto the fruit. "I have a name," she gritted.

"Names have no meaning for me," said the tree. "Let go of the fruit. The chakra in it is not yours to arrogate."

Kaguya ignored him. She tugged and tore at the fruit, uncaring of the tree's blathering. She needed this strength, this chakra. Then, suddenly, the fruit came off, and Kaguya fell to the ground at the backlash.

She stood up on shivering legs, fruit in hands, and swallowed it greedily piece by piece. Above her the tree roared. Its roots shook the ground and ruptured the earth, but Kaguya did not notice. Each bite of the fruit shot another spike of power through her, pulsing in her veins, in her mind. Surely not even the gods wielded a force like this.

As she gradually came back to herself, the tree's branches had wrapped themselves around her body.

"You have eaten the fruit, so I shall eat you to keep the chakra in its rightful place," the tree pronounced and pulled her close to its trunk.

Kaguya laughed. "You have no power over me," she said and let the chakra flood out of her, let it sweep over the tree, crushing all branches and leaves in its wake. The tree recoiled and let go of her.

"You will regret this," the tree warned, leaves trembling. "One day you will see your error, but then it will already be too late. What you have done today will bring war and destruction upon this world for millennia to come."

"So be it," Kaguya said, still reveling in her new abilities. "At least I will be free."

She left the Tree of Life, which stood now old and battered and watched her depart with worry for the future. Kaguya did not care for the future in the way the gods or the tree did. She saw it with human eyes, shortsighted and selfish.

Her plan to return to Yashimajinumi's castle was cancelled by her decreasing physical condition. At first she did not understand what was happening to her, why her stomach was bulging, why she had begun to react so differently to food and exhaustion, but the movements inside her told her what she needed to know. She was pregnant with Yashimajinumi's child.

The birth was in winter, in a small pension not too far from the borders to Izumo. There were two children, twins, boys. That night Kaguya felt nearly delirious with happiness. Somewhere on the moon, Tsukuyomi laughed.

She stayed in the pension for another few months, nursing her children and paying the old woman behind the counter with valuables she gathered when the boys were sleeping. Spring had come around when Kaguya crossed the last distance to the residence of Izumo's king.

Yashimajinumi received her much like he had the first time, but he looked different. The lines on his face had deepened, cutting through his skin like fresh scars. The look in his eyes was disconcerting as he eyed the two babies Kaguya was carrying with her.

"You do not seem happy to see me again," she said.

In fact, Yashimajinumi seemed mournful. "I am not," he replied. "You left me. I waited, not knowing why you had gone or if you would ever come back. The town was in an uproar. Word had spread I had been consorting with a youkai. My advisors pressed me to make a decision." He breathed in deeply. "I am married. I am sorry."

Kaguya felt reality slip away like the stars through the ether in heaven. He had betrayed her. He had used her. She had loved, hot and bright and infinite, and he had dared to throw water over his love that had been dim ember in comparison.

"I bore your children," she said quietly.

A tear escaped Yashimajinumi's right eye, just like Tsukuyomi had once escaped Izanagi's. "Take them with you," he said. "Please."

She did.

She brought her children back to the pension they had been born in. She asked the old lady to take care of them, to tell them who their mother had been and to raise them proud and righteous and human.

Kaguya did not kill herself. Kaguya did not kill Yashimajinumi either. Kaguya wandered back to the Tree of Life, overcome with jealousy, anger and regret, and cried. She begged the tree for forgiveness, for mercy, even though she knew it was not in the its authority to give out things like that.

That night a full moon rose in the sky, slicing through the dark in powerful strides.

Kaguya hoped her father was watching. Look at this ugly thing you created, she thought bitterly.

It was her last thought.


End file.
